Craig depth chart confirmed on refrigerator · Two columns: Earth and Other ·  ❖  Forty-yard dash answer not a legal time · Adjudicator cannot share · Craig says competitive advantage ·  ❖  Cold weather question asked and answered · Craig told: well done ·  ❖  Attic beings confirmed eligible as undrafted free agents · Cannot start in lineup · Psychological edge: permitted ·  ❖  Wendell has asked attic about tight end experience · Phyllis has left the room ·  ❖  Craig depth chart confirmed on refrigerator · Two columns: Earth and Other ·  ❖  Forty-yard dash answer not a legal time · Adjudicator cannot share · Craig says competitive advantage ·  ❖  Cold weather question asked and answered · Craig told: well done ·  ❖  Attic beings confirmed eligible as undrafted free agents · Cannot start in lineup · Psychological edge: permitted ·  ❖  Wendell has asked attic about tight end experience · Phyllis has left the room ·  ❖ 

My Husband Has Begun Scouting the Aliens in Our Attic for His Fantasy Football Team and I Found a Depth Chart

Craig plays in four leagues. Craig sent the attic beings a questionnaire about their forty-yard dash and cold-weather performance. There was a response. There is now a depth chart on the refrigerator with two columns: Earth and Other. Our adjudicator has reviewed the answers and cannot share the forty-yard dash time.
Panel Ruling
This Is Legal. This Is Just Good Scouting. Water the Rest of the Lawn.
Panel Response (1)
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FantasyFootballIntegrityOfficer_Desmond, C.F.A.
Certified Fantasy Adjudicator  ·  Has Reviewed the Questionnaire Responses
Craig Is Fine

Renee. I have reviewed the questionnaire responses and I have three things to say.

First: the forty-yard dash answer is not a legal time. I cannot share it. But Craig is right to be excited.

Second: roster eligibility. This is genuinely uncharted territory. The major fantasy platforms require players to be on an active NFL roster, which these individuals are not, which technically makes them undrafted free agents. Craig cannot add them to his official lineup. However, Craig knew this. Craig is not playing them. Craig is using them as a psychological edge — he knows something his league mates don't, and that knowledge is affecting his decision-making in ways that are, from what I can see, improving it considerably. This is legal. This is actually just good scouting.

Third: the cold weather question was smart. I don't know how Craig thought to ask that. Tell Craig I said well done.

The depth chart can stay on the refrigerator. The league cannot take the players because the league does not know about the players. The league will never know about the players. What happens in the attic stays in the attic, Renee. That is the first rule of competitive advantage and also, increasingly, first contact.

Water the rest of the lawn. Show them you are maintaining the property. It sends a message.

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Reader Comments
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FormerParalegal_RhondaJun 16, 2026
Craig said "Renee, that's an opportunity" and I have never related to a man more in my life.
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ProcessingSlowly_BetteJun 16, 2026
THE FORTY-YARD DASH ANSWER IS NOT A LEGAL TIME. I CANNOT HANDLE THIS.
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LaughingAlone_VeraJun 16, 2026
Building a balanced roster. Earth and Other. Craig is ahead of all of us.
▲ 48▽ 0Reply
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MinnesotaSubscriber_RuthJun 16, 2026
Minnesota wants to know which league. Asking for a friend.
▲ 44▽ 0Reply
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ConcernedButCurious_PhyllisJun 16, 2026
Wendell just asked the attic beings if any of them have experience at tight end. Phyllis has left the room.
▲ 71▽ 0Reply